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Best gay dating sites 2020: Gay and lesbian apps for LGBTQ+ dating

Best gay dating sites 2020: Gay and lesbian apps for LGBTQ+ dating
(Image credit: Getty)

Gay dating sites and apps make it easier to find likeminded singles either in your area or for long-distance dating. In the year 2020, many of the best online dating sites have made some progress in moving past their heteronormative roots, which is why a few of the largest dating apps feature in our guide, even though they’re not exclusively designed for the LGBT community. These apps are also great for bisexual users because you’ll find people of all genders among the userbase. That being said, opting for a specifically gay dating app means you’re less likely to deal with time-wasters and harassment. In our guide to the best gay dating sites we’ve covered both gay and lesbian dating apps for those looking for a relationship or just casual fun, so there’s something for everyone, regardless of orientation or preferences. 

Although we’ve ranked our favorite gay dating apps, the right one for you will depend on a number of factors. Although Grindr is great for gay or bisexual men, it’s obviously not designed for WLW or lesbians to meet. There are also some websites that are better for finding hookups and casual dating, whereas other gay dating apps will be a better fit for LGBT users seeking a serious relationship. 


1. OkCupid: Best dating site for all orientations

Best Gay Dating Sites:

(Image credit: OkCupid)

OkCupid

The best gay dating site for LGBTQ+ inclusive dating.

Membership: Free and paid | Platform: App and online

Suitable for all genders and orientations
Easy to use
Huge userbase
You’ll find some straight folk, too

With 20 orientation options and 22 gender options available for members, OkCupid is an incredibly inclusive dating app that will suit lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, and pansexual users perfectly. OkCupid has recently gone through a major rebranding, and the company has made sure to advertise the fact that it is all-inclusive: it's not just for cis or straight people, and the LGBTQ+ community is prominently represented in its new ads. 

Because OkCupid isn't specifically made for the LGBTQ+ community, many people may feel uncomfortable dating in a space that doesn't address their particular preferences. However, you can choose your pronouns on your account and also set preferences for who you’d like to meet. There are plenty of heterosexual users on OkCupid, but the app offers an "I don't want to see or be seen by straight people" option, so you can steer clear if you want. 

We’ve also included options for lesbian and gay dating sites below, but as a catchall, OkCupid is a good choice. 

Best Gay Dating Sites

2. HER: Best lesbian dating app

Best Gay Dating Sites

(Image credit: HER)

HER

Best for queer women.

Membership: Free and paid | Platform: App

Specifically for queer women
Has matching and friendship requests
Functions in part like a social media feed
Can only sign up using social media accounts
Must pay for premium features

One new dating scene app caters specifically to queer women. HER, available for free in both the Apple App Store and Google Play, serves as a place where female-identified and non-binary people can connect to find both friends and dates. 

You can sign up using your Facebook or Instagram account and swipe through profiles to find people in your area. The app is also a place to coordinate and find queer events like parties and meetups. 

User profiles show you photos, names, a person's sexual preference and physical attributes. Much like Tinder, once you match with a person, you can chat in the app's messaging component.

There's also a user feed feature in the app that's similar to Facebook. Along with a dating profile, users post information about their day-to-day lives, likes and dislikes. One of the app's most unique features is its "relationship mode," which you can turn on to let other users know you're only looking for friendship, not a date. 

You have to pay for some features, and some people didn't like that they only found that out after downloading the app. That aside, HER is a safe online community for queer women to connect.

Best Gay Dating Sites

3. Grindr: Best gay dating app  

Best Gay Dating Sites

(Image credit: Grindr)

Grindr

The best dating app for gay dating.

Membership: Free | Platform: App

Extremely popular among gay, bi, trans, and queer people
Easy sign-up process
Free to use
High volume of fake profiles

Grindr is the most popular app for gay dating. It is essentially the Tinder for gay dating specifically: it's free to use and it's easy to create a profile. However, this means the pool of users may be both over-saturated and riddled with bots and fake profiles. 

Like Tinder, it has acquired a reputation for being more of a hookup app than a dating app, but Grindr doesn't restrict your options – and with the large pool of men on the app, there's definitely a chance someone will share your interests and desires. 

The site also sits close to the top of our list because it's easy to use and access, and creating a basic profile is free (with a premium, paid-for subscription available).

In terms of popularity, no other LGBTQ+ app matches Grindr. While there may be other apps whose features cater better to your needs, Grindr has sow widely spread that men of all types with a wide variety of interests can be found on the app. It's not for everyone, but it would be hard to find someone who hasn't at least tried using the app. 

Best Gay Dating Sites

4. Bumble: Best gay dating app for relationships

Best Gay Dating Sites:

(Image credit: Bumble)

Bumble

The best gay dating app for finding relationships.

Membership: Free and paid | Platform: App

The community is moderated 24/7 for an discriminatory language
Users typically are looking to date 
Large user base with gay-friendly settings
Designed to be woman-centric

Hear us out on this one: Chappy used to live here - it was the relationship-focused alternative to Grindr for gay men, and it came with 24/7 community monitoring that ensured all members felt safe when connecting with other men. This is because it was backed by Bumble, which clearly liked the app so much they decided to join forces. What this means is you'll find plenty of gay men and women on Bumble, with the same relationship-focused culture users loved. 

In heterosexual dating, when a woman and man match the woman has 24 hours to send the message. What does this mean for you? Well, when it comes to gay dating you're right back at square one, and either of you can message first when you match. You're still limited by the 24 hour timer, which can encourage you to get chatting and quit playing hard to get when you do match, and Bumble is known for its community monitoring, so any harassment will be swiftly dealt with. 

The app is free, and you can pay for perks such as unlimited swiping. For those looking for love though, this probably isn't worth it. Limiting yourself on daily matches means you can pay more attention to those you do match with, without feeling overwhelmed. Bumble also verifies user identity, so there's no catfish lurking about. 

Best Gay Dating Sites

5. Scissr: Best lesbian dating app for relationships  

Best Gay Dating Sites

(Image credit: Scissr)

Scissr

Great for lesbians looking for love.

Membership: Free | Platform: App

Designed by and for lesbians
Free to use
You can clearly state what you’re looking for
You have to sign in on Facebook

Designed by lesbians for lesbians, Scissr is a growing free dating app for WLW. It promises to be a safe space for all: dyke, queer, gay, lesbian, bisexual, and bi-curious. There’s one common gripe with the lesbian dating app, which is its login system. For those who aren’t out yet, or who are simply more private when it comes to social media, the fact that you have to sign in on Facebook is a big turn-off. However, the app does promise to not post to your Facebook account, and you’ll only be visible to WLW users. 

When you do sign up, you can say what you’re looking for on Scissr. That includes a Love/Relationship option, as well as casual dating, friendships, and just a cuppa. There are nine sexual identity options, including pansexual and asexual, and you can choose a username if you wish to keep your name hidden. When we tested the app, we found that it lacked the large userbase of rival apps such as HER, but you can sort by preferences and check when someone was last active to make sure someone is still using their profile regularly. 


6. Tinder: Largest dating app userbase  

Tinder: Largest dating app userbase

(Image credit: Tinder)

Tinder

Biggest pool of people to choose from.

Membership: Free and paid | Platform: App and online

Used by people of all genders and sexual orientations
One of the largest dating apps around
Not the most personalized experience 
Profiles are very limited

Tinder is one of the most used dating apps on the market, which means that, regardless of gender or sexual orientation, there's a chance you'll meet someone who meets your criteria for a partner. Because there is no community monitoring, harassment and bullying may take place - but if you are the subject of such behavior, you can easily block and report a user. 

However, Tinder lacks the same consideration of the LGBTQ+ community that other apps on this list do. It doesn't take into account the vast spectrum of different gender identities and sexual orientations that exist in all areas, although this is something it's working on rolling out in the coming months.

The app is hypothetically good for anyone, and recent changes allow you to list your gender identity as Straight, Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Asexual, Demisexual, Pansexual, Queer and Questioning. You can also choose from a huge range of gender identities. 

Best Gay Dating Sites

LGBTQ+ dating

Generally speaking, your options are a little more limited when it comes to LGBTQ+ dating. Dating sites actually have a great track record when it comes to helping gay people find love, possibly because of this. Research from Pew Research Center has found that a massive 55% of the LGBT community has used online dating sites, with 21% finding a serious relationship on these apps. The average nationwide was 30% and 12% respectively, so your odds are pretty much twice as good if you use a gay dating site when compared to the national average. 

If you need a little extra help, you can check out our feature on online dating tips for more advice.